Title: Hard to Say I'm Sorry
Part: 2/4
Author: Wendy
Category: 98º
Rating: PG
Copyright: 2000
Friday afternoon. He couldn't wait any longer to see her again. He had pondered the conversation with her, and he just wanted to get it over with. It couldn't possibly be as bad as the past ten years without her.
He entered her neighborhood once again. Looked at the house for moments before getting out of his car. Slowly, he walked up her driveway and in front of the door. To his right was the doorbell and he touched it slightly.
Nervously, he tapped his feet against the ground. It seemed like such a long time to him, and the thought that it was a mistake passed by in his mind. He was determined to do this though and he just didn't want to put it off any further.
The door opened, and a woman appeared in front of him. She had long strawberry blonde hair, tied up in a ponytail. Her lips were shining against the light with lip gloss. She wore a pair of worn-out jeans with a gray T-shirt. She looked at him, not saying a word and she knew.
"Toni?" Jeff whispered in the air.
She barely recognized him. It wasn't so much that he changed because she could recognize his piercing blue eyes anywhere. It was just that she didn't expect him there in front of her face again.
She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't utter a word out. Her emotions were running wild and she didn't know how she was supposed to feel. Standing in front of her was her husband, whom she hadn't seen for ten long years.
"What are you doing here?" she finally asked.
"I came to see you."
She kept on staring at him and reluctantly invited him into her home. He looked around at the beautiful home that she lived in. It was filled with pictures of a boy and a girl, who he was able to recognize as his children.
The two of them sat down across from one another at the kitchen table.
Jeff took a deep breath and began to speak. "I know that I have no business being here, but I…the past ten years…I've missed you so much."
She looked like as if she was on the verge of crying, but she didn't want to let herself do that in front of him.
"Jeff, I don't know what to say," Toni replied, her voice shaking uncontrollably.
"I know that you have a life here, Toni, and I don't want to change that. I just want to tell you that I'm sorry. Sorry for everything that I put you through. I just…didn't realize what you gave to me until you left."
The two sat silently, waiting for the other to speak a word.
"What do you want from me, Jeff? It's been more than ten years."
"I don't really know what I want from you. It's just been so long and I know that you've probably moved on with a great family life, but I needed to see you again," he began to explain.
"So much has happened in these years, Jeff. I don't know what you've been doing, but I have a life here," Toni told him.
"I know, and I'm not asking you to sacrifice any part of your life for me, at least not after what I put you through. I just want a chance to talk to you."
"Well, the kids are going to be back in a little while, so I don't think this is the best time."
"Yeah, I understand."
"Why don't you just give me your phone number and I'll let you know what happens?"
Jeff scribbled down the number of the hotel and his room number. Without saying much of anything else, he left her house. He sat in the car, and hoped that it was a good start.
Toni ran up to her room, with the piece of paper tightly held in her hand. She was frantic, not knowing what to do at all. So many memories came back to her, both before and after she moved to Boston, both with and without Jeff. She had never expected to see him again. She wasn't sure if she wanted to either.
She had never seen him so serious. His eyes could always tell so much about what he was feeling, and when they were talking, she saw his soul through his eyes. His soul was aching, and she felt it under her skin. There was still a connection with him and she couldn't deny it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you, I promise you
And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me I can't let go
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~