Title: Holding Her, and Loving
You
Part: 1/1
Author: Wendy
Category: 98º
Rating: PG
Copyright: 1999
+++ Ashley +++
I arrived home after a short day at work. Short probably wouldn’t be the word to describe it. I was fired. The company didn’t need me anymore, that’s what he said. I drove around aimlessly for a couple of hours miserably, but finally headed home. I walked straight into my bedroom
My husband wasn’t home yet as usual. Maybe it was just as well. Every time he’s been around in the past few weeks, we somehow got ourselves into a fight.
I heard the front door closing and I woke up from my nap. I knew immediately that Justin was home. I sighed.
"Hey, hun," he greeted me.
I forced a small smile on my face so he just wouldn’t ask me questions.
"What’s wrong?"
"I don’t want to talk about it," I snapped at him.
Justin closed his eyes at the coldness in my voice. I really didn’t know why I didn’t want to tell him about it. When we first got married, even before that, we would just tell each other everything.
Justin loosened his tie and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. I wished so badly that I knew what was happening to us. Just somewhere along the line, we lost our connection. I just wanted things to work out, that’s all.
I was looking out the window aimlessly when Justin walked out of the bathroom with a change of clothes.
"Ash, what’s wrong?" he tried asking again.
"I said that I don’t want to talk about it, Justin."
"You never want to talk about anything anymore, "Just raised his voice a little.
"Well, that’s because you’re rarely home and when you are, you ask me some stupid questions about how my day was," my voice matched his volume.
"What do you want me to do? I have a career that I love!"
"One that you obviously love more than me!"
"That’s not fair, Ash!"
"Well, isn’t it? I’m here and I don’t know where you are half the time!"
"We’re not going through this again," he put on his jacket.
"Yeah, Justin, leave like you always do!" I yelled.
He left the house with a slam on the door. I cried into my pillow, holding a picture frame of the two of us.
+++ Justin +++
I jumped in my car, knowing of only one place to go. I really wanted to know how Ashley and I got to where we were. We got married three years ago and everything had been great, up until a few weeks ago. Everything just changed so fast.
I arrived at the familiar house that I always went to when Ashley and I fought.
"Are you okay, Justin?" she asked when she opened the door.
"Ashley and I had another fight," I simply replied.
She welcomed me into her house as she had done for so many times in the past weeks.
I proceeded to tell her what had happened this time. She listened attentively, not really taking any sides. That’s all she always did. Listen.
She offered me a hug when I finished. It was probably the only thing for her to do then and there.
I wondered so many times why I was still with Ashley when Christine had been so good to me. She was always there for me and we loved each other. She comforted me when I had nowhere else to go.
It was something very difficult to comprehend. I loved Christine, but even through the trouble Ashley and I were having, I still loved Ashley more.
I still stood there, in an embrace with Christine. But I knew, in my heart, that I had to end this with Christine and try to work things out with Ashley first before running away every single time something happens.
I said goodbye to Christine and explained everything to her. I hated to see her cry because she had never hurt me at all. I really didn’t want to do that to her.
I drove home under the moonlit sky and hoped that it wasn’t too late for Ashley and I to work things out.
++++++++++
It's the third hardest thing I'll ever do
Leaving here without you
And the second hardest thing I'll ever do
Is telling her about you
She's been good to me
When things were rough
How can I tell her now
That good ain't good enough
The hardest thing I'll ever have
to do
Is holding her and loving you
If she'd give me one good reason
I'd be gone
But she ain't done one thing wrong
So don't expect me just to walk out of the door
I still love her, but I love you more
She's been good to me
When things weren't going right
She made my days
Long before you made my nights
The hardest thing I'll ever have
to do
Is holding her and loving you
Yeah, the hardest thing I'll
ever have to do
Is holding her and loving you
Girl, the hardest thing I'll
ever have to do
Is holding her and loving you
++++++++++